Well....it is official. I have made the jump into blog world. I went back and forth on this for months. I never realized how vulnerable it could make you feel to put yourself out there. I came to the conclusion that this entire journey is not about "me". It is Lincoln's story and I want him to be able to look back on this journey one day and know how much we loved him...even before we ever knew him. I want him to know that we have been praying for him for years....not kidding.....YEARS. Our journey to get to this point has been long. It has been long but it is as if I have been living a screenplay that I have already watched. I know it sounds crazy but I have had this incredible sense of peace throughout this whole process. Peace that can only come from God.
Peace came when I told my husband that I wanted to jump in and adopt a third child.....AND...... he looked at me like I was crazy. It was as if I knew this was temporary and he would be on the same page as I was. This voice said to me...."I've got this....don't beg.....don't bug him.....his heart will change."......So, I waited. I knew that if it was God putting this in my heart, he would work it out. Total Peace....and then.... I will never forget the day I was standing in our kitchen and the hubby walked in and said..."I think we should adopt. I know this is what we are supposed to do....but....in order for us to do this, we are going to have to adjust our lifestyle." I said, "ok....I will adjust anything!" So....we sold our house! Money wasn't going to fall out of the sky, so we had to find it and finding it meant sacrifice. It seems absurd that our version of sacrifice is downsizing square footage when our future child doesn't have A square foot!!! Our family totally "got it".....but our friends thought we were crazy. I knew all along that God was leading us.....How?......because everything just worked out. In the worst housing market in history....our house sold for 4k less than asking in 30 days and we sold it "by owner". Peace....people!
Peace came with each road block along the way......Not kidding......we sold our house in April 2009.....and Officially signed on with CCI in July of 2010. Throughout this time....we were preparing for the process and it wasn't easy. We would get going and WHAM....road block..... knock that one down....and WHAM....another one.....over and over it went this way. My friends and sisters would say, "aren't you going crazy?" and each time I would say, " I know that God is in total control....if we are hitting road blocks.....it means that our Lincoln is not born.....or is not ready for us to adopt him, yet.".....I waited.....Peace!
I think John 14:27 pretty much sums up the last year and a half......
"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."