A Beautiful Day To Play!

                                                                           

                                                    M and H giving a little sibling love 
I heart this weather!!!!  We are having weather in the upper 70's and this momma is loving it!!!  We took the bikes to the park after school and rode until it was about dark....which is about 5:00 these days:(.....  I would be game to live somewhere that had weather like this everyday, 365!  I had already mourned the arrival of the cold weather.....Pulled out all the coats.....Put away all the shorts.....Have been applying Vaseline to my children's chapped faces........AND then a warm front!!!  I will take it.....THANK YOU very much....any day I can get to play with my children outside before we are stuck inside all winter, I am going to take full advantage of...

H and M are exhausted when we are driving home and Matthew is staring out the window.  I said, "Are you tired?"......and he said....."Yes....but I just wish Lincoln was here with us."  What a sweet boy!  I wonder what his little mind was sitting there thinking about....what he was picturing?  My sweet, M, can't wait to be a big brother. 

We have been busy with all the extra activities going on for the Holidays!  So far...H is an Angel in the church praise choir production at church......She is a tree in the Nutcracker presentation at the local theatre......and she has tried out to be a reindeer sister in her school play for Christmas (haven't heard the outcome of that audition, yet)..... She has found a new confidence and love of performing this year and I can't wait to watch her in every single thing!!! 

It is such a small world!!!  We went to get our fingerprints done on Monday to complete our INS approval....and there was a family there that was doing the same thing.....we got to talking and discovered that we grew up in the same town and she knew my sister's ..... Everywhere we go there is always a connection to my hometown....too funny.

So....fingerprints can be checked off my list and now I just wait.....I haven't heard any updates this week about Lincoln but I know their are people working hard on our case..... I would LOVE to have ANY bit of info that I could get my hands on but I will be patient and wait to hear instead of calling everyday like I want to do :)

You can still purchase shirts from OH for the whole month of November.....They really are awesome, vintage looking, soft T-shirts.  I want to give my friends and family A BIG FAT THANK YOU for buying shirts from OH in our name.  You all truly ROCK.....and we are so humbled by your generosity!!!  

I can't wait to load up my THREE children in my car and head to the park....I am with Matthew......it would have been more fun if we all had been there!

Blessings!
Kasey

Fingerprints!

Sunday we are headed to stay with my sister Kristi and her fam for the night.  We have our appointment to get fingerprinted for our INS approval at 8am on Monday!!!  Every little thing I can do (physically) for our adoption makes me feel better.  I feel like I am completing something that is getting me one step closer to Lincoln.  Because traffic is so bad at that time, we are headed there the day before so that we won't have to leave in the wee hours.  Our kids LOVE their cousins and they can't wait to get there.  H is already trying to get us to go right after church.....

INS approval will be the last thing that we have to do here in the US to get our Lincoln.  Praise the Lord!!!

I will leave you with a set of fingerprints that I can't wait to see smudged all over my walls and windows.......His little hands are going to do amazing things.  I am sooo blessed!

Blessings!
Kasey

Ordinary Hero has new shirts!  They have added some new shirts to their site and I must say....they are really cute!  There are new adult and kid designs.  I have linked their name above so head on over and get a new shirt.  Remember that they are giving away all t-shirt sale profits this month.....write our name (Kasey-Lincoln)or the name of someone else that is signed up, in the memo and they will get the profit.....  OH has been coming up with some awesome ideas of things to add to the site.....so watch for those, also. 

The Why's????

Lately I have found the word "why", to be a repetitive word in my world.  I have to say....when you really think about it.....we never really have the answer.  Does it make us feel better to just say it, ponder it, mull it over?  Isn't the definition of the word faith pretty much the answer to all of our why's?  Shouldn't we just except that God knows what he is doing, and questioning the reasons "why", really isn't going to get us anywhere?

Why did you decide to adopt?  Why Ethiopia?  Why a toddler?  Why not the US?  Mommy, why is it taking so long, why don't we just go get him?  Why not a baby?.....it goes on and on.... 

There are welcomed "why's" (especially when you know the answer), necessary "why's" (to know who drew on the wall) and the dreaded open ended "why" that only God can answer.
I have found that whether it be highs or lows.....the question "why?" is always our first thought.  Why am I so lucky?  Why did God choose me?  Why is this happening? 

WHY NOT!!!!...is my new answer.  I have chosen to simply live by faith and KNOW that God is perfectly, divinely orgestrating my very blessed life.  This wait may seem long and even extended....but at least he chose me to wait!  God could have chosen someone else to be Lincoln's Mom.....he could have deemed me unqualified....but he didn't.  I am blessed beyond words to have the privilege of being Lincoln's Mom no matter how hard or how long it may be.

I am blessed with a husband who said yes.......I am blessed with bio children that are beyond excited to meet their new brother.....I am blessed with an extended family that has a heart just like mine.  Only God can do this.  So, what I think of as a "not so perfect" plan IS perfect to God and I just have to have the FAITH it takes to know the difference. 

I am going through "glitches" and highs and lows...but I know that these are the things that are drawing me closer to God.  If waiting, and glitches are what he thinks I need, then I am saying, "why not"! 

What is a post without a pic???? So I am going to leave you with one of the "why's" that was answered in my house recently..... Our daughter, H, has been one of the last kids in her class to start loosing teeth.  I know, this doesn't seem like a big deal but to a child that is one of the oldest in her class.....it was a big deal!  She wiggled, pulled on, and agonized over this tooth "situation".  She would ask...."Why am I not loosing my teeth like everyone else?"  I would simply say, "You will loose your teeth when you are meant to loose your teeth....we have no control over teeth falling out.  I have no idea when Dad lost his first tooth but I can tell you as an adult it won't matter."  I was even secretly glad that the teeth hadn't started falling out because I wasn't ready for the "awkward"  toothless stage.  Then as if it was a gift.....on her seventh birthday she lost her first tooth.....and they have been falling out like crazy ever since!  So....why am I telling you this?  Whether it is loosing teeth or waiting for a child.....we all have "why's".  Having faith and knowing it will happen when it is meant to happen is a lesson that is not easy whether you are seven or thirty three!

I recently read a quote that I LOVE.....
"If God Calls you, He will equip you."
I am feeling equipped!

Blessings!
Kasey

Exciting News!

Ordinary Hero is doing amazing things for the month of November!  Because November is Adoption Awareness month..... Ordinary Hero (my blog queen sister #1, Kelly's) foundation is donating all profits to families raising money for their adoptions.  SO.....If you were planning on buying yourself and every family member you have an Ordinary Hero T-shirt for Christmas......You can do it now and the profits will go toward our adoption!!!  Just go to their site, buy your shirts, and in the MEMO line of your order...write KASEY.  We will then get the money put toward our adoption.  How Cool is that?  The top seller will win a matching grant from OH.....So Awesome!  The children's shirts are too cute!

No updates on Lincoln.  I am learning a different level of patience.....and I can feel myself growing because of it.  I went to my MOM2MOM bible study this morning and we are doing an awesome study.  It spoke straight to me.  It was all about God only giving you what you can handle.....I sometimes think God gives me more credit than I deserve...ha.  I know I can "handle" what I have been given but I don't necessarily want to...:) 

 H, the Candy Corn Witch

M, the Police Officer

We had an awesome Halloween!  We had a Candy Corn Witch and a Policeman.  Every year when we are finished with our Trick or Treating my kids always talk about what they are going to be the next year.  It was music to this Mommas ears to hear my children talk about Lincoln and how they should all match next year.....  Thank you Lord that this will be our last Halloween without our Lincoln! 

Don't forget to order your Ordinary Hero shirts this month!

Blessings!
Kasey

I may stumble but I won't fall...

I think it is so funny how God times things.....  My sisters kept urging me to start a blog and I kept blowing them off....three months I did this.  I don't really know why.  I had the best news to share but I felt so guarded.  It was the voice that we all have and it speaks to us often but we all have the great ability to ignore it.  That whisper from God, that gift he has given you.

Sooo...one night I am at my sister Kristi's house (Blog queen sister #2) and thought....having my sister's help.....I can get my blog started.  I LOVE the thought of having our journey to Lincoln in print for him one day.  Well, as you see, we worked on it...I went home and worked on it and I finally made my first post.

When I wrote my first post....(of all things.....on PEACE)....I never dreamed how much I would have to rely on my own words just a few days later.  When I say a few days....I mean I wrote the post on Friday and Sunday....everything changed.

I have learned that an adoption is a lot like pregnancy......I have to admit.....I have never had a miscarriage....I have been pregnant twice....and both pregnancies were planned and I got pregnant right away.  I have never experienced that loss.  Those couples that wait an entire trimester to tell people they are pregnant.....I always thought were being a little over the top.  I mean...I got a positive test and it was a celebration!  I would make sure the hubby got the news first and then I told my whole world.  Well, lets just say.....I would probably rethink that now.  Suddenly...in a moment....my most favorite topic....Lincoln.....was my most dreaded.  My fake smile and a quick answer was about all I could muster for the moment I was stuck in conversation with whoever it was.  I kept thinking to myself....if I hadn't been so excited and shared our great news then I could deal with this on my own...with my family...

You plan for a child.  You prepare your children for that child.  They draw him pictures to send in care packages.  They pray for him every night.  You picture him in your home, with your family and loving him forever.  You prepare by reading toddler adoption books.....you yearn to touch that little face in those video's you have of him.  You see him TINY and sad in pictures.  You imagine....no matter how hard it is.....you are going to make that boy smile.  You see him dirty and has on girl clothes that are too big......and you can't wait to give him a bath and put the cutest outfit on him.  You imagine what he will think about his new world and what your other children will think of him.  You picture all the future holiday's with this face and it fits....and you know it was sent from God straight to you and you rejoice in his favor on your life......and THEN......it changes. 

I suddenly feel the breath leave my body and I know it will be a long time before I can breath again.  I can't get into much detail.....because this is ongoing....but our adoption has hit another glitch.  I got a much dreaded email from our director on the 17th and I have been holding my breath ever since.  I really don't know when it will be resolved.  I read the email by myself and could hear my hubby playing with the kids in the other room and I had this crazy peace.....I feel like I am living a movie I have already seen.  I feel like I KNOW the outcome but I have ZERO control of the situation.  When it comes to my children....I like to remain in control.....and having one child that lives across the world and NOT having control over any facet of his life is a lesson in patience and faith.  I have come to the resolution that I HAVE to come up for air.  I know my God has a plan for our lives.  I am comfortable with the pain if it is keeping me on the path that God has laid before me. I know that our Lincoln is already ours and God decided that a long time ago.  Now finding that path to him.....still isn't clear but I know it will come when God decides it will. 

SOOOO.... I know you are wondering what in the world has happened.....I wish I could get into it but it is still very sensitive and I don't want to jeopardize anything.  I will tell you.....I am SO blessed by CCI and Sue.  God truly gifted me with them.  I have all the trust in the world in them and I can't imagine going through this with any other agency.  I know that a lot of the peace I feel is from the confidence I have in them.   

Blessings,
Kasey

 

Finding Peace!

Well....it is official.  I have made the jump into blog world.  I went back and forth on this for months.  I never realized how vulnerable it could make you feel to put yourself out there.  I came to the conclusion that this entire journey is not about "me".  It is Lincoln's story and I want him to be able to look back on this journey one day and know how much we loved him...even before we ever knew him.  I want him to know that we have been praying for him for years....not kidding.....YEARS.  Our journey to get to this point has been long.  It has been long but it is as if I have been living a screenplay that I have already watched.  I know it sounds crazy but I have had this incredible sense of peace throughout this whole process.  Peace that can only come from God.



Peace came when I told my husband that I wanted to jump in and adopt a third child.....AND...... he looked at me like I was crazy.  It was as if I knew this was temporary and he would be on the same page as I was.  This voice said to me...."I've got this....don't beg.....don't bug him.....his heart will change."......So, I waited.  I knew that if it was God putting this in my heart, he would work it out.  Total Peace....and then.... I will never forget the day I was standing in our kitchen and the hubby walked in and said..."I think we should adopt.  I know this is what we are supposed to do....but....in order for us to do this, we are going to have to adjust our lifestyle."  I said, "ok....I will adjust anything!"  So....we sold our house!  Money wasn't going to fall out of the sky, so we had to find it and finding it meant sacrifice.  It seems absurd that our version of sacrifice is downsizing square footage when our future child doesn't have A square foot!!!  Our family totally "got it".....but our friends thought we were crazy.  I knew all along that God was leading us.....How?......because everything just worked out.  In the worst housing market in history....our house sold for 4k less than asking in 30 days and we sold it "by owner".  Peace....people!

Peace came with each road block along the way......Not kidding......we sold our house in April 2009.....and Officially signed on with CCI in July of 2010.  Throughout this time....we were preparing for the process and it wasn't easy.  We would get going and WHAM....road block..... knock that one down....and WHAM....another one.....over and over it went this way.  My friends and sisters would say, "aren't you going crazy?"  and each time I would say, " I know that God is in total control....if we are hitting road blocks.....it means that our Lincoln is not born.....or is not ready for us to adopt him, yet.".....I waited.....Peace!

I think John 14:27 pretty much sums up the last year and a half......

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

I will post about how we got to our Lincoln in future posts, but for now.... if you are struggling with obstacles that are hindering your adoption dreams....  Know that when you are doing something that seems impossible, God's peace will be with you if you are acting in his will.  Take a deep breath and relax in the fact that God has "got this"....and soon you will have these to smooch on!

Blessings!

Kasey